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Handing Away Our Territory

Do you feel like we have too much land, money, and guilt? Help HMGOV.UK Decide what other territory we should give away to people who never owned it, much like the Chagos islands.

Fill out the form below to help action our next giveaways, what about giving Scotland to Belgium? What about giving the Falkland Islands to Chile? Submit your decisions below and they'll be taken with as much thought and care as Sir Keir Starmer is capable of.

We will not be considering any more applications to hand over Sir Keir Starmer to the Mariana Trench, The Kīlauea Volcano of Hawaii, or any suggestions simply saying "The Vacuum Of Space".

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Tell us who you are

Sorry. We are only looking to give away territory to irrelevant nations in an attempt to finally set the sun on the British Empire.

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Where Should  We Give Away?

Please tell us the official name of the land, territory or other that we should consider to give away.
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Do you consider yourself sensible?

It is government policy that we cannot do anything sensible. Please confirm that your idea is nonsensical below. Clicking Yes will forward this submission on to your local health service to be sectioned (though waiting times may mean this takes between 6 and 8 years to be acted upon).
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Where do you currently live?

We must collect this information to confirm your do not have British interests at heart.
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Knowingly making a claim to vote for Keir "The Sunsetter" Starmer to be launched into the sun could result in you being assaulted and arrested by your local police as this could be considered a hate crime.

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Thank you for your submission.

If you have entered an incorrect information, knowingly or otherwise, armed police will be sent to your door with approved clearance to use unnecessary violence.
Thank you for your submission.

If you have entered an incorrect information, knowingly or otherwise, armed police WILL be sent to your door with clearance to use unnecessary violence.
It seems this form works the same way the government does.

It doesn't.