Steak Pensions
What is a Steak Pension?
The Steak Pension scheme allows you to convert all or part of your existing retirement fund into weekly meat deliveries, directly to your home or designated meat hole.
1. Select your meat pension package (MPP)
2. Sign away your right to convert your meat back into money
3. Begin receiving your MPP benefits on a weekly basis until death
Important Notice
By accepting a Steak Pension, you acknowledge that:
- You may no longer qualify for traditional currency.
- Meat received may occasionally be in liquid or unidentifiable form.
- Consumption of Steak Pension meat constitutes agreement to all government terms, including those not yet written, and is binding until death.
Vegetarian options will never be available
The Steak Pension Scheme (SPS) will be launching October 2025 in all areas under British rule, excluding the colonies of Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Australia.